Anguir-Management
by TheExiledCyborg
Summary: This will be a fanfic centered on the life of the once big-time actor Anguirus Saurus, and how the looser struggles through getting his rent paid on time, keeping a job, passing his anger-management classes, and living in his former best friend's shadow.
1. chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

His alarm blarred loudly, interrupting the still peacefulness of the room. He snorted and reached over the side of the bed, trying to return to the painless depths of sleep; it really hurt too much to be awake nowadays.

But of course despite this, and despite the least of his efforts, that alarm did not go off, and he _had_ to get up; that was life.

He growled and pushed up, swinging his legs and tail over the side of the bed, his eyes still closed.

"Damn mornings," he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He got up and picked up a suit that was lying on a chair next to his bed, the only thing truely distinct in the pig sty that was his room.

He put on the shirt and tied the red and black tie, before putting on the jacket and pants and sandals, grumbling all the while. He clutched his temple as he headed to the bathroom.

"Every morning with this shit: hangover, headache, migraine, bodyaches..." He grumbled, turning on the water and scrubbing the hide on his grey-brown face. He grabbed a specialized toothbrush and started to brush the sharp, pointy teeth that lined his elongated snout, along with the two wolf-like fangs at the front.

He spat in the sink and grinned in the mirror; two brown-green eyes greeted him, tired and almost sad, as if asking, 'why did you even get up this morning?'. He sighed and shook his head, rubbing the small pointed horn on his snout, a perfect match to the six that crowned his head. He reached over the counter top and took out a pair of shades, looking into the sad pair of eyes.

"...'Cause I had too, buddy." He whispered quietly, putting the shades on to mask his sad eyes, and the dark bags hanging below them.

He walked out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, and out the door from the kitchen/livingroom, into the apartment building complex, and from there...hell.

But he called it his life.

*

 _There you go, guys! Something to give you a taste of what this story is going to be like. Sorry for the poor quality and the length, but I have been busy and hit with a bolt of writer's block; but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The loser looked down at the paper in his claws, then up at the sign over the double doors. He nodded, confirming to himself that this was the place, and walked in. Already, there were lines if people in similar circumstances to his own, each one looking for some sort of work to keep themselves off the streets.

He snorted quietly and patiently waited until he could walk over to a desk, where a short man sat looking down at some papers. He pretended to take no notice of the kaiju in front of him, as almost five minutes passed before Anguirus cleared his throat loud enough to get his attention. The man looked up at him over his thick-rimmed glasses, then had the audacity to smile as if he hadn't noticed the 6 foot monster.

"Mr. Saurus! How are you today?" he asked, giving him a winning fake smile that was just begging to be punched in. Anguirus snorted, his sunglasses sliding down his snout as he took a seat.

"You know damn well how I am, _Howard_. Here's my papers, and stop giving me that smile! Life ain't that great!" He grumbled, tossing the papers in front of him.

The man only adjusted his glasses in a exaggerated performance, pretending to study the papers carefully; Anguirus was all too familiar with the motions. He almost knew exactly what the little pontifical bureaucrat was going to say next.

"Well, Mr. Saurus, I just don't think there's a line of work for you in the market today," he said in that artificially, overbearingly sweet and condescending tone, that made it sound as if this man thought that having that small amount of power over someone's income made him the most powerful person in the world. Anguirus's eyes widened.

"Now hold on, there has to be something! Last time I was here, you said that you'd contact Toho to see if there was a position opening; and then I heard about the new movie, and how Gojira and his team are looking for a few monsters to get their asses stomped; last I checked, they're still looking." He narrowed his hazel-amber eyes, knowing something wasn't right about this man's claim.

Howard only held up his hands in a melodramatic shrug, a humorous look of total helplessness on his face. "Sorry, guess the positions were all filled out by Rodan, Mothra, and that Ghidorah fella; maybe Big G decided that he didn't need his little spiky lackey nippin' at his heels anymore."

That was the last straw. Something inside Anguirus snapped after the words left the moron's mouth. His vision turned red. His pupils turned to black slits. The last rational thing he could think before the animal in him took over was: ' _a bitch's gonna die today_ '.

Anguirus stood up and grabbed the small man by his pressed white collar, lifting him out of his chair and in the air. In an instant, as the bureaucrat realized his mistake too late, all of the pompousness and color drained from his face. He broke out in a cold sweat, tugging at the kaiju's large claws that had a death grip on him. People in the background started screaming, but Anguirus couldn't hear them; all he could hear was his own heart beating and the hot blood rushing through his veins as he imagined tearing the little coward to bits.

He held him so that he and the man were snout-to-nose, his reptilian eyes glaring into the human's with pure rage. He growled, showing his razor-sharp teeth; Howard was suddenly aware of the canines that could tear out his throat in two seconds flat, if the monster willed it; he started babbling and crying, begging the beast to put him down. Anguirus snorted and tightened his grip.

"Now listen here, you little piece of shit," he hissed, "this is the seventh time I've had to drag my ass out of bed and ride over here on the bus-do you know how much the bus smells? All of that sweat and the hobos and God knows what else?-Well, I've had to suffer through that long ride seven times; seven times I've waited for hours to get to your little desk; seven times I've had to suck up to your little shit attitude; seven FUCKING times, I've had to deal with the insufferable little bitch, that is Howard McKinney!- Only for you to screw me over every, single, time!-Every time, I've had to go home-again, on that smelly ass bus-wondering if I was going to get my rent paid on time that month! Do you have any idea, how fucking humiliating it is, to be working at a fast-food joint at my age?! DO YOU?!?" Anguirus shook the man violently, making his glasses fall to the ground and crack. The poor man only started bawling more, and for a moment, Anguirus almost felt sorry for him, and considered putting him down…

But then ten police officers pushed him to the ground, and the last thing he felt was the hard ground on his face, cold handcuffs on his wrists; the pain of his back spikes digging into his flesh; and then the taste of blood as something hard hit him over the head, and everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

Anguirus wasn't aware of where, exactly, he was for a few moments. Everything was dark, and the only things he could make out around him were the barriers of what appeared to be a small enclosure. He groaned softly, a headache stabbing into his temples, but he soon realized that the process was halted by some sort of bond around his snout. He snorted and tried to cross his eyes to see what it was, but the few eye-boggling attempts he made only ended in pointless failure.

He snorted in frustration and tried to move his arms, which he soon discovered where pinned behind his back by the cuffs around his wrists. He growled; of course. He was in a jail cell! He tried to stand up, and after an attempt or two, was able to sit up on his knees. He squinted into the darkness, trying to find some sort of light.

" _Why the fuck did they put me in here?_ " he thought, " _I didn't do nothin'! I just shook the guy around a bit; these motherfuckers are acting like I dismembered him or somethin'_."

A sudden flash of panic and the all-too-familiar fear ran through Anguirus's blood. He quickly tried to recall what had happened before he passed out- had Howard survived his wrath? Was Anguirus in here for murder?

" _No, no, no- I mean, Howard was annoying as hell, but...I wouldn't kill the guy!...Right?_ " He thought with a fresh stab of panic as an image of a bloody face flashed through his mind. He shook his head quickly, trying to erase the image.

" _Calm down, Angy,_ " He thought, " _don't get ahead of yourself; if you did murder Howard, you'd be dead already._ " He let himself chuckle at the cruel irony; in this world, kaiju hardly had any rights when it came to trials of murder. The rules were strict and straight, and every kaiju knew them: you kill, you will be killed on sight. No exceptions were ever made.

Anguirus thought about that as he used his tail to swipe the ground for his shades, mumbling to himself about laws and bullshit politics and how much the world had changed against kaiju instead of for them.

"Lookin' for these?" A female voice said from behind him, her hard steel-toe boot stomping right on his tail.

Anguirus growled in pain and spun around on his knees, facing the police officer; she was wearing the police uniform like a Hollywood badass, complete with the pitch black shades and superior aura. In her hand were Anguirus's shades, miraculously still intact.

Anguirus smiled, glad that his shades were alright. The officer reached forward and used a key from her belt to unlock some sort of latch around the muzzle on his snout. He rubbed his jaw with a bound hand and grinned as she promptly removed and tossed the damned device aside.

"Hey, thanks!" He tried to reach for his shades with his tail, but her foot still had a firm grip. She pressed down harder, causing him to wince a bit.

"Ow! Son of a--What is your deal?!" He snapped, his eyes turning to amber slits in rage.

She snorted and shook her head, as if bitterly disappointed. "Kaiju- so easy to anger." She tossed him his shades and made a gesture for him to follow, pushing the cell door open. He fumbled for his shades a minute before placing them back on his snout, grumbling all the while as he followed the officer.

"So what am I in for?"

No response.

"What are y'all holding me for?"

Silence.

"Hello? Miss? I'm talkin' to you. What, big bad Ms. Police officer thinks she's too good to talk to a lowlife kaiju or somethin'?"

She turned to face him briskly, her emotions hidden behind a stone face. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you."

That got Anguirus to finally snap his jaws shut, and keep them shut.

" _Damn_ ," he thought, " _this is serious_."

The officer walked with him down the long corridor, until the blank monotony broke away into a large courtroom, complete with a judge and a lawyer. Anguirus felt the familiar stab of fear as he was brought to stand before the judge, who glared down at him from the imposing height of the pulpit.

"Anguirus Saurus," he said, "you are brought before the court today on charges of physical assault and battery-"

"Hey, I didn't beat Howard, ok? I just-"

"Silence!" The judge banged his gavel its block, causing Anguirus to once again bite his tongue out of fear of increasing his list of charges, and thus, his sentence...whatever it might be.

The judge narrowed his eyes. "If you're quite finished; the court hereby sentences you to three months of anger management."

Anguirus's jaw dropped. The lawyer smiled and reached over to shake his hand. "Congratulations."

Anguirus glared sideways at the lawyer before addressing the judge.

"You call this a court? There's no jury, no witnesses, nothin'. Ain't I supposed to get a fair trial before-"

The judge laughed. "Over matters this small, no jury is needed."

Anguirus knew that was just polite talk for 'Kaiju don't get trials'.

He snorted and let the officer unlock the handcuffs around his wrists. As he rubbed the blood back into them, the judge shifted through some papers. "You will begin your sentence tomorrow morning."

The kaiju's eyes widened. "Wait, wait, wait- hold up! I can't-"

"Unless you would rather spend three years in jail." The judge said very matter-of-factly, the look he was giving Anguirus signalling that this was a sweet deal he was giving him, and if he was smart, he'd shut his loud mouth and take it.

Anguirus didn't need to be told twice.

After some short paperwork was signed, he was free to go. He didn't dare look back at the courtroom, or any of the inhabitants of the palace of bureaucracy; he didn't dare familiarize himself with it's cold, uncaring walls and bleak smells.

He knew he would be coming back soon.

And next time, he wouldn't be so lucky.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

" _What am I doing here_?" Anguirus thought to himself as he listened to the young man in the "head" of the circle of chairs drabble on about " _feelings_ " and " _positive expression_ ".

Anguirus rolled his eyes behind his shades. What did this boy know about any of those things? He was just hardly out of adolescence, the most emotionally turbulent time of anyone's life; How could he sit there and lecture a bunch of grown adults about how to manage their feelings, when he could hardly control his own?

Anguirus continued to grumble on to himself until he felt a smaller presence squeeze a chair between him and the woman beside him, who was too deeply entranced by the group leader's monotonous life story to really mind. Anguirus opened his mouth to snap at the 'presence', until he realized that it was a small girl.

She had her silky black hair cut into a short bob, the banes curling around her face to give her a more youthful look; her almond shaped eyes were a beautiful ebony, the same color as her short skirt; Her white blouse was buttoned up and slightly baggy, as if it was borrowed and touched-up by her mother to make her look more presentable. She stared up at Anguirus, her eyes wide as her polished black shoes tapped on the floor, as if she was already cowed by his sharp words.

Anguirus immediately closed his mouth, unable to stop it from forming a smile. He knew there was a poetry reading in that same building that evening for a local middle school; was this child lost?

"Well hey there," he said, his usually gruff tone becoming soft and docile, "where did you come from?"

She pointed at the dull green door far behind them, her shoes still quietly tapping at the waxed white floor. He smiled.

"Are you lost?" He asked, "Or did you just come by to say hello?"

She shook her head. Anguirus tilted his.

"Then what's a sweet little girl like you doing in a place like this?"

She looked up at him, her facial expression calm and her tone very matter-of-fact: "I stabbed a boy in the neck with a pencil."

Anguirus jumped away, his eyes wide. "WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

Everyone in the circle turned to him with glares of total exasperation. He smiled sheepishly as the leader addressed him directly.

"Is there something the matter with what I said, Mr. Anguirus Saurus?" The manager said, his eyebrows raised like an intellectual dealing with a nuisance of a pupil.

Anguirus politely shook his head, forcing a smile through his chagrin, the entire situation giving him flashbacks from when he was still in grammar school; always disrupting class, the bad grades, the notes expecting to go to a parent, but always ending up in the trash when he got back to…

He shook his head. "No sir, Mr. Abe; My new friend over here just surprised me with her…uh…" Anguirus cast her a conscious glance, unsure what to make of her, "... _Touching story_." He finished awkwardly.

Mr. Abe nodded, his agitation dying down into understanding contentment. "Well done, Mr. Saurus, expressing your emotions for the plights of others in a positive, although rather...acoustic way. Please be more mindful of others the next time you plan on expressing your feelings in such a manner. Everyone, congratulate Mr. Anguirus on his progress and his new friend."

Anguirus and the girl smiled awkwardly as the entire circle treated them to a "positive feedback" session before the lesson presumed, and finally, ended hours later. Anguirus breathed a sigh of relief as he gathered his anger workbooks and went towards the door, running a hand down his face.

"Geomoth damnit, that was embarrassssss-" He saw the little girl from before blocking his path and he forced a grin, removing his hand from his face.

"Heeeeeeeeeey there," He said, trying to sound friendly and not comfortable or off-putting in the least, "how are youuuuuuuu?"

The girl tilted her head, the hands behind her back holding her workbooks like the innocent schoolgirl she appeared to be. "Is it true? Are you Anguirus Saurus?"

Anguirus dropped his fake smile, replacing it with a confused frown and inquisitively raised eyecrest. "Uh...yeah. Why?"

She grinned, bouncing up and down excitedly. "Oh my gosh! It's really you! It's really Anguirus Saurus!"

Anguirus blinked, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh...yep. That's me."

She bounced up and down, letting out a soft 'scream'. She went through her workbooks and tore out a sheet of paper, pushing it into his hands along with a fuzzy blue pen; It was then that Anguirus realized what her goal was.

He grinned and laughed. "Well, well, looks like ol' Angy gots a fan."

She continued to ramble as he signed his name. "Oh my gosh you were so awesome in Godzilla Raids Again! And even more awesome in Destroy All Monsters! That part where you bit down on Ghidorah's neck was awesome!"

Anguirus laughed. "Would you believe that that part was entirely ad-libbed?"

She gasped. "No!"

He nodded. "We were told to just surround him and beat on him a bit; but I got to excited and rushed forward ahead of time and bit down on one of his necks. Ghidorah freaked out and tried to throw me off, but I held on." He laughed at the memory. "Now who should I make this out to?" He smiled at her.

She grinned. "Kyoko Manabe. That is K-Y-O-K-O-M-A-N-A-B-E."

Anguirus nodded. "To my new friend, Kyoko Manabe."

She smiled and took the paper, holding it with her books to her chest as she walked with him down the dimly lit corridor.

"So you excited about the new kaiju flick comin' out?" Anguirus asked, deciding that it would be best to make some form of polite conversation if they were already going in the same direction anyway.

She nodded. "I love kaiju movies! Especially the old ones; the Showa era movies are the best, in my opinion."

Anguirus laughed. "You like the classic movies, huh? Unusual, for a youngster like yourself."

She seemed slightly annoyed at the statement and huffed. "I'm not that much of a 'youngster'. I'm eighteen."

Anguirus's eyes went wide as he jumped away from her. "WHAT THE FUCK?!? I thought you were twelve?!?!"

She giggled at his shocked expression and nodded. "I know. I get that alot; but hey, it means everyone will think I'm twenty when I'm forty, right?" She smiled pleasantly.

Anguirus chuckled a bit and allowed himself to relax, despite the nervousness he felt by being around this rather disconcerting girl. "You mean that? You're really eighteen? Like no shit? When were you born?"

She smiled at him and sassily put her hands on her hips. "When were you born?" She challenged.

Anguirus laughed again. "Alright, alright, fair point; I was born April 24, 1936."

Her jaw dropped. "It's 2018. You're eighty-two years old!"

Anguirus nodded. "Yep."

She stared at him. "...You're ancient."

"Hey," he said, narrowing his eyes, "eighty-two's still pretty...middle-aged-ish...for my kind," he said, realising just how old he was as soon as the words left his mouth.

She giggled. "So what is an old geezer like you doing in anger management? Did your nurse forget to bring your applesauce?"

Anguirus smiled and narrowed his eyes. "Well what about you, snot-face?" He quipped, "Got cranky 'cuz you missed naptime? Did you have to go stand in the corner?" He now had his hands on his knees, and was talking to her like she was a small child.

She scoffed. "Nah, some jerk in school made a smart comment about my "fat ass" for the 99th time. I decided to set him straight." She puffed her chest out a little.

Anguirus snorted. "Sounds like he deserved it; I mean...ya shouldn't have stabbed the guy, but...he deserved to get punched in the gut or somethin'...Shit, is he still alive?!!" He just then realized that a stab to the neck could be lethal.

Kyoko nodded. "Yeah. He's fine. I drew a teeeeeeny bit of blood, but it only broke the skin; it didn't sink in or anything."

Anguirus sighed in relief. "Geez, kid; scared me for a minute there."

She grinned. "I know; I'm really scary."

He laughed. "Yeah, definitely more scary than me; I'm here because I shook a guy in the job-finding department because he had been screwing me over every chance he got."

Kyoko snorted. "Sounds like an asshole."

Anguirus nodded. "Oh, he was. And a snobbish, condescending son-of-a-bitch too. You know, the typical bureaucrat."

Kyoko seemed to withhold another snort. "I wonder what it is that makes them like that."

Anguirus shook his head softly. "Having any sort of power over someone. That's what it is; having the power to ruin someone's life by simply turning down someone's paperwork, or putting a certain stamp on their credentials; having such a simple, yet powerful influence over the way someone lives, and being able to ruin someone without any effort: that is enough to corrupt anyone."

She nodded and walked down the corridor with him. "...Is that how you ended up...?"

Anguirus nodded with a grimace. "...Kinda...it's...part of it."

She smiled. "Well...in a way...I'm kind of happy it happened so we could meet."

He blinked at her for a moment, and then smiled. "Me too."


End file.
